Haircuts

I have curly hair. I hated it when I was young. I begged my Mom to let me cut it. She gave in. I had a demimexiafro in the 70's. 

I have had all hair lengths and some crazy hairstyles along the way. If there had been the kind of hair product there is now, maybe someone wouldn't have told me I had Pauly Shore hair. (rude) I can laugh now...just a little.

Today, I let go of a little bit of length.  I've been evolving in these past few months. Letting go of things here and there. Letting go of past hurts. Letting go of feeling like I am in control. Letting go of things that have sat idly in boxes.

It was a scary. The stylist said, "If I had free reign, this is what I would do, and this is why." I said, "Let's do it." Imagine that. Allowing someone with the skill and expertise to get into my hair and cut away all the excess, all the weight, all the fuss. It was liberating. It was symbolic.

I have some things going on in my life. I will need courage, I will need faith, I will need strength.  My Mom has cancer again. The last thing I need is excess, weight, and fuss holding me down. I have a son who has been battling a health condition for the past 2 years. 2 years. I have a marriage that needs some attention. I have 2 other children that need me. I need to be more of me, the girl with dreams, ideals, and passion. Not the girl who survives her life day to day. Life is complicated and sometimes hard. I get that, i'm living it. I'm ready to be present again. 

Today I started with a haircut.

Here's to you Ally!

Sleep didn't come easily last night. I was up at 6:30 am anyway. Looking for stamps that were misplaced and started to get ready for the day.  I have a part-part-time job.  It's a little J to the O to the B, that helps out a little (very little) but every little bit counts. 

So about this job, I'm on the SLC school district assessment team.  That means I go to all the Elementary schools to do a reading assessment 3 times a year, and a language proficiency test for all grades once a year.  We are on the tail end of a 4-5 week testing schedule. It's a fine little job.  Today, I left early hoping to get Joe to the Dr. His cast is falling apart and he's ready to get it off...anyway...this little post is not about my job or the cast really. Just a little background info on why I found myself a little stranded at Highland Park Elementary school. 

I walked out to my car, and the car remote didn't work. I'm thinking, "great, I'm locked out, what else can happen to me", and then, "this little bugger needs a battery".  I'm too far to walk to a grocery store, pharmacy, or big box store to make it worth having left early (though I am not adverse to walking, and frankly, it wouldn't kill me to walk a little).  I call Jeff to ask if he can help me. He tells me he wouldn't be able to come help me for another 20 minutes. I told him I would figure it out. I called one of my friends hoping she might be home, but no answer. I call another friend and luckily for me she answers! I tell her my predicament and she is willing and ready to come to my aid.  She left her job for a little while to come help me. We drove to the pharmacy found the battery I needed, and she allowed me to get a couple of things off my chest. No judgement, no fixing, just listening.  Gotta love a friend like that.  Thanks Ally! I love you a lot, for today and more!

Did I say little too much? A little.